Weddings

I went to another wedding this weekend in Tulsa prompting me to really reflect on what marriage is, what a wedding should look like, how we do stuff right regarding them, and how we screw it up sometimes.

At the wedding I went to this weekend, I sat there listening to the pastor preach (quite literally - in the way that makes you realize that he's not thinking about what he's saying) and had an epiphany: there is so much importance placed on the "motions" of the wedding that the marriage is left to fend for itself in a poorly prepared relationship that has no real foundation. Ok, so I have to qualify myself and say that this wedding was not that bad, but what I am referring to here is a larger scale epidemic that our society (our christian society) has embraced all too often.

"I didn't sign up for this kind of a marriage."

"I didn't ask God before entering this marriage therefore I need to get out."

"I feel trapped."

"I don't love him/her anymore."

"I never did love him/her.....I was tricking myself."

If you are truly someone that loves Jesus and wants to follow Him with all your heart, then let me make something unmistakably clear: THESE ARE LIES FROM SATAN! Even though you can really feel one of these things, they are rooted in lies. Ex) you can feel "trapped" but in reality that emotion stems from believing the lie that God is not big enough to help you in your marriage. Satan clouds our minds with bullcrap like this and we think it's our own reasoning. We get so twisted around, everything seems so complex and confusing, so we try to excuse ourselves out of something we can't fix. Seeing this breaks my heart. In my experience there is nothing more painful in life than to go through a divorce and I prayerfully hope that I never go through anything more difficult. That said, I know of several people who are currently living in a distressed marriage and I can hardly bear to watch. It's terribly sad because it is readily apparent that satan has wedged himself between the spouses via his lies. Like it says in Ephesians: "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." This is so true. If you think your husband/wife is the reason for the problem in your marriage, you are fooled. Satan's war against marriage is the real reason you don't seem to feel your love for your spouse, why you aren't attracted to them, or why you can't talk to them without yelling.

I speak all this stuff as a screw-up extraordinare who has lived as such and is still learning to not be. I can see the truth clearly though regarding this and I passionately want that everyone knows this truth. I know God is deeply pained when we rip apart these unions that He has formed. A reflection of His relationship to us is not supposed to be broken!

I am going to stop here because I could write for hours I'm sure, but if you are reading this please pray for a second and re-commit your marriage to God's glory. Pray that you find your identity in Christ rather than your spouse. Encourage your married friends to godliness and holiness. Lastly, know that you are not immune to the devil's lies and you too need to diligently pursue Christ in order to stave off the arrows of satan that are attacking your union. Please, let this break your heart.