Lafe vs. Stu

So Lafe and I have this thing. Yes, I realize that we have many "things" but I'm talking about one thing in particular. Every time we go to shop for groceries at the Neighborhood Market, we try to push the other into the automatic doors as we enter the store. We don't try to push each other into the doors before they retract, rather as we're passing through the door frame, we will hip check each other or just flat out throw the other one into the stationary side of the door! I'm not sure how this all started or when, but it's a Lafe vs. Stu shopping tradition.

So this last Sunday morning, the games reached an all-time record of absurdity. Lafe and I were having a serious discussion and wrapping up some deep thoughts when all of a sudden I realized, "Hey, we're just sauntering through the door frame and Lafe doesn't even realize it....." So I seize my opportunity and throw him a well-timed forearm that landed him in a crumpled heap on the door frame! AMAZING! It was one of the best throws to date in my opinion. Anyway, Lafe smirked and gave me a word that I won't repeat on this blog. So at this point I am overly pleased with myself and have begun to laugh hysterically: this is where it got bad....

Amidst my glee, I forgot to grab a shopping basket so I had to venture back through the door frame. I realized that Lafe would seize his opportunity at retribution, but I was okay with that because I would be prepped and ready for his onslaught. However Lafe, dazed from his recent blow I'm sure, miscalculated his moment to throw me and came at me too soon. So now instead of flying into the door frame, Lafe's zeal for the game has launched me into the security scanner that guards one side of the entrance to the Market. Two things must be clarified here: 1) Said scanner is flimsy and flops about with little to no effort and 2) There was a cheap plastic stand holding aluminum spray bottles of sunscreen on the other side of the security scanner. My slamming into the scanner made it into a large plastic paddle that swung violently to the other side and batted roughly 100 bottles of sunscreen clinking to the floor. AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Lafe's eyes got HUGE and he ran off into the store without looking back. So there I was, all by myself picking up bottles of sunscreen while other shoppers and employees of the store watched me. What started so well ended in bitter defeat. Don't fret though dear reader, I will get him back.

Then we went across the street to Harp's because the Market didn't have hash browns.